Wives at Home

I absolutely have nothing against stay at home moms - I was one for about a year but I don't have the patience or the budget for it! My complaint is twofold - one, how can these stay at home moms (some of them) be so farging disorganized!? This one mom I know has three kids - 2 in elementary school and 1 in training pants, all girls. You've never seen anyone so frazzled in your life. Constantly forgetting these, house is an absolute disaster, but she volunteers for absolutely everything but doesn't do any of those things well. It seems to me that a well run organization is a happy one. Would I like to go to the gym and get my nails done and carry around a $700 purse...sure, but I'm not willing to do it on credit. A classic line was my sister in law, who said "I really want a tummy tuck". Ok, so my BIL should get yet another job to finance that - he's already working 2 and moonlighting on the weekends! Some more situps might solve that issue.....

The other half of my complaint is the men who I work with - all of whom have wives who don't work outside the home. A majority have children of middle school age or older, but none of the women work. So when it comes to staying late and having to meet a deadline, these men do not feel the urgency that we primary caregivers do. My officemate and I are both responsible for pickup - as our husbands also work - my daughter is in elementary and Kim's son is in junior high. Last night I left work at 6:15 - my kid goes to bed at 7. These guys don't seem to really give a rat's ass - but we don't have wives at home getting dinner ready, doing the homework and doing all the chores - we are the wives at home, and we are at work!

and another thing!

It never ceases to amaze me how my husband can't get out the door in the morning. I have never seen anyone so flatfooted and disorganized in the morning. Me, I lay out my clothes the night before, right down to the lingerie and the jewelry. I pack my lunch the night before so I'm ready to go - no running around at the last minute. I am "encouraging" my daugher to employ these same practices - which is backfiring a little bit because if something doesn't fit her, she refuses to take it off, once on. However, she's only in first grade so noone cares if she looks like a hobo.

Anyway - my husband gets up at 6 and leaves the house at 7:30. I iron his clothes on the weekend so all he has to do is garanimal in the morning and get out the door. Instead, I find him watching the news, or going online or not doing what he's supposed to be doing! I make the beds, I make the breakfast, I make the to go coffees, I get the kid washed and brushed - what in god's name is he doing that takes so long...half the time he forgets the coffee, or the laptop - it's insane. And he's literally running out the door because he's late. What else can I possibly do besides dress him and drive him to work??

Guess some things take time.

Shout Out!

This is a just a quick note to thank my mom for all she does for me. My mom probably has no idea what a blog is, or how to get one or even read one, but that's ok. My mom retired about 5 years ago and after I went back to work, she offered to watch the kid for me. Good thing, because I don't think I would have gone back if she hadn't. She's been playing Uno and Candyland and schlepping the kid to kindergarten and preschool and doctor's appointments and gymnastics, and haircuts and all that stuff for the last five years. And paying for a lot of it. I do it on the weekends and take time off when I have to, but my mom is really the "caregiver" of her granddaughter and it shows. The kid knew how to read early, loves to draw, loves all birds, trees, animals and anything in nature and loves to sing and dance. Her vocabulary is outstanding. She is a very happy child thanks in very large part to her grandmother.

Yesterday the kid was sick and I had customers coming in so I couldn't stay home with her so I dropped her off with my mom and by the time I'd picked her up she was washed, dried, cleaned and feeling much better.

My mom will even run errands "do you need anything" and pick stuff up for me while she's out. Occasionally she'll even make us dinner! Now that the kid is in elementary school, mom has a few extra hours on her hands during the day. She's helping out at the school and at the old folks' home and exercising more (right on!) and planning their next vacation. But I know she's actually lonely during the day now without her pal there full time.

So thanks, Ma - I know I thank you each day and send you mushy cards and take you out to lunch once in a while, but I really do appreciate all you do for me and my family. I couldn't do it without you, that's the truth! Love ya!

Vanity!

I have a vanity plate on my car. I pay $35 for the privilege. Mine is very simple - a name, a + sign and a pronoun. Easy to read, easy to understand, no sweat.

There's 2 things I detest about vanity plates

1: so complicated that you can't figure it out in 5 seconds and spend time thinking about it - a mishmash of consonants or part of a word or words that don't make obvious sense

2: MY - that is so stupid. of course it's yours! (or rather, the bank's).
some examples:
MYBMW
MYSUV
MY540
MYSHTBX (not really, but you get the idea)

Worst one I've seen recently: WEALTH (is that f'ing obnoxious or what)

Best one: MYGOKRT (on a red Honda Civic)

Ideal one: KISSMYASS

Men!

Ok, I've been married twice (this is the last time I swear). I love my husband, I do, he's a great guy, good looking, great with the kid and does anything I ask him to - if I make him a list. But I am never sharing my house again after this guy. I was talking to my office pal, Kim, and she has a similar problem - and a 13 year old son to boot. She told her husband "I'm never getting married again!" He thought she meant that he was so fabulous that she'd never get over him. What she meant was - I'll have a clean bathroom and a room to myself.

What is it about men that they cannot see the things that we (women) see. Why must he walk over the half dog-eaten kleenex on the floor; why can't he clean the shmutz out of the sink drain; and does he not see the hair on the soap? In the grand scheme of everything, I realize that I am nitpicking, but dammit, I work all day, I put laundry in before work, make the beds and do all the cooking and kid-related stuff. He gets 3 squares a day, thanks to me. Is it too much to empty the trash before the stuff comes flying back out because it's overflowing? Does he have to leave the dishes in the sink so I come home to them at night? Last week, as I'm dragging the vacuum out (again), he says "I just did that the other day". Ok, yeah, doofus, do you see the big yellow shedding dog and the two hairy cats - plus all the crap we drag in from the garage and outside? Just because you did it 2 days ago doesn't mean it doesn't have to be done again - what, there's a dirt timetable I don't know about??

The question really is, "why do I have to ask"? Why can't he just do it?

Hang up and drive, idiot!

Ok, I admit, I am one of those people. I don't talk on my cell phone while I'm driving, I don't drink coffee while I'm driving and I use my directional - every time. When did stopping at stop signs become optional? I think I'm more freaked out about traffic and people being morons now that I have a kid in the car. It comes down to that people are idiots. If one more "yummy mummy" in her minivan cuts me off and then gives me the finger, I swear....speaking of swearing - the kid said to me (from the backseat) a few weeks ago - "Why are you yelling at that guy, mama, he can't hear you". Basically, it makes me feel better. The guy was all over the road, yapping on the phone and generally being a jerk. At least I no longer roll down my window to yell like I used to. Too many nutcases out there.


If you absolutely feel the need to drive and dial, just do it in your own lane - stay out of my way, moron.

Tooth Fairy

The Tooth Fairy made her first visit to our house last night. A coworker had given me a really cute certificate from the Tooth Fairy to slide under the kid's pillow, along with the cold cash. I have to say that the kid was far more impressed with the note from the TF than she was with the money. I don't know what the going rate is anywhere else, but the TF was generous with her $2. Can't set that inaugural tooth bar too high....TF will go broke.

Blog Virgin

I think the hardest thing was coming up with a name for the blog - everyone seems to have one. Work-related or geographically connected...I couldn't come up with anything I liked. I thought about a literature referenced title (Shakespeare, bizarre) but then I was thinking about my kid and how she gets so upset when you interrupt her when she's talking and so there you go!



I have no purpose other than to share my pet peeves, aggravations and good stuff when it happens (my coworker just brought me a latte, so good stuff). Perhaps I need an stream of consciousness outlet that doesn't involve a 6 year old (trying to keep my profanity to myself)